Beat the Bullies
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me...
Sadly sticks and stones are just some of the more rudimentary weapons used by bullies today and whoever said words can't hurt, lied. Ask any one of the 69% of children who told a recent national survey that they had been bullied*.
Bullying is a hideous thing with which to have to contend, as a parent. The scars are not just physical - they are emotional too - and the repercussions can affect everyone in the family.
It is not always easy to tell if your child is being bullied, but here are some things to look out for:
- Being quiet and withdrawn, particularly if this is out of character
- Seeming anxious
- Difficulty sleeping
- Coming home with cuts and bruises or torn clothes
- 'Losing' dinner money or other possessions that then 'need to be replaced'
- Reluctance to go out
- Changes in friendships
- Not doing as well at school
- Becoming aggressive or moody
If you suspect your child is being bullied (or indeed is a bully), you need to act fast, but it is vital that you listen and don't go rushing in to see the Head/bully/bullies parents - this will be what your child dreads most and in many cases it has been proven to make the bullying worse. Instead:
- Listen to your child and let them tell you what's been going on in their own words
- Don't dismiss their concerns as 'just teasing'
- Talk to your child about how you are going to handle it, together. Keeping records of events, saving abusive text messages etc. can all be useful ways of gathering concrete facts to show the school if necessary
- Talk to the school and ask about their policy on bullying - tackling bullies effectively takes a combined effort from teachers, parents and the children themselves
- Ensure your child knows they are loved and try to restore their confidence by engaging in happier activities with them outside school
The UK's leading anti-bullying charity, Bullying UK (www.bullying.co.uk) and ChildLine (www.childline.org.uk) both have some brilliant tips for children, parents and teachers so if you think there might be a problem, check them out.
*National Survey 2006 commissioned by Bullying UK
